There is a version of healing that looks calm from the outside and feels like absence from the inside. Fewer arguments. Fewer risks. Fewer people. It can be difficult to tell whether life has become more peaceful or simply smaller.
Withdrawal is often a reasonable response to having been hurt. When closeness has repeatedly cost something, distance starts to feel like wisdom. And for a while, it may genuinely be what is needed.
The difference is direction
Rest restores capacity. Retreat protects against the possibility of needing capacity at all. Both can look like stillness. Only one of them tends to expand over time.
Am I resting, or am I disappearing?
This is not a question with a permanent answer. It is a question worth returning to, because the honest answer changes depending on the season you are in.
A gentler measure
Instead of asking whether you are healed, it can help to notice whether your life is becoming more possible. Are there more conversations you can tolerate? More feelings you can stay with? More moments where you do not have to leave yourself to get through the day?
Progress in this work is rarely dramatic. It usually looks like staying present a little longer than you could before.